flowury:

sleepy boys are the best because they have cute messed up hair and squishy tired cheeks and little droopy eyes and are at their most vulnerable making it easier to kill them

(via light-up-y0ur-world)

internetmessiah:

Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?

(via magicul)

lecic-has-a-shovel:

yungterra:

There is nothing worse than hearing people attempt to sound intelligent by using lengthy words and MISUSING THEM

I completely photosynthesize with this

(Source: yungterra, via c-all-me-shirley)

schuckthetruckup:

ringokotomi:

Do authors cry when they kill the best character or do they smile, laugh and have a cup of tea with satan

the difference between jk rowling and george rr martin 

(Source: ringo-sugarplum, via c-all-me-shirley)

officialwhitegirls:

primary source of income: when my mom gives me money to buy something and doesn’t ask for the change back

(Source: officialwhitegirls, via vanilla-bliss)

tiredestprincess:

ok new rule: if you’re gonna call me “cute” you have to specify whether you mean “cute like a little girl/baby animal” or “cute enough to bang mercilessly”

(via yelled)

3rd grade

  • friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
  • me: what
  • friend: OH MAN
  • OH
  • OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
  • I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
  • SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
  • JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.